I Laid in my Dark!

Jenny and I were visiting the other night about how no one is exempt from the overwhelming emotions of anxiety and depression. This past weekend I have had my own insecurities and frustration surface (I promised to be real). I found myself in bed for 16 hours – unable to identify or name the emotions that surrounded me. I allowed this time to pass knowing that there would be relief as at some point. It was important for me to sit in the emotion and feel everything that came up.

Four years ago I would have been afraid of the dark. I would have worried the darkness wouldn’t have ended. Four years ago I would have been afraid my life would be dark permanently and the fear would have engulfed me. I assure you today, that I didn’t shame myself for laying in bed. I didn’t succomb to the mind racing of self defeating thoughts. I laid in my dark. I felt the pain of loss and sadness. I allowed my what if’s to come into my mind. I awoke and journaled, then closed my eyes again. I didn’t worry about the length of time it would take for the light to come. I prayed. I slept. I wrote. I read. I surrendered to what I was to learn. I allowed my heart to listen.

Allowing time for ourselves is critical to our awareness and health. It sometimes isn’t something we can plan, but I assure you, if we don’t make time for it your body will shut down or something in life will make us stop. I often times have been able to take the time to find the light, but sometimes life has a way of having us stop, when we forget to take time for ourselves!

A real post – its okay to feel down, dark and sad sometimes. It’s what we do during that time that allows us the freedom to get through. Surround yourself with love, allow yourself to rest, write what you feel and be gentle with yourself.

Jenny and I listend to this amazing song that was written by two sister missionaries, and I found the words comforting – ones I could connect with. I wanted to share it with all of you!

My message today? If you are sad – or in a dark place. Be gentle with yourself. Find ways to have an outlet (writing, drawing), and rest your mind and body. Listen for the messages – and only allow the thoughts of light into your mind. Keep going = you can do this!

Take care!
















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